Well, if John Kass says it then...

It MUST be true, right? Actually, I don't know. While I am a fairly regular Chicago Tribune reader I tend not to read the opinion section much. Which is kind of odd considering I spend some of my internet time writing an opinion blog but for whatever reason I tend to never bother with the editorial sections. I have read John Kass maybe two, three times over the years and I have no real bone to pick with him nor do I have anything particularly positive to say other than I think he can be funny in a snarky sort of way. Also, like a lot of the writers at the Trib, he's a conservative...Or was, as he claimed recently he's now an independent. Whatever, I think I am an independent too I am just more of a lefty one to his righty, Reagan lover-ness. Anywho, this post isn't really about Kass so much as it's a little bit about a recent editorial that was brought to my attention, "Barack Obama wins in '12" in which he says:

He knows who he is. And the Republican politicians don't know who they are. They've forgotten what they're about, or perhaps like some isolated tribe, they've lost the language necessary to explain it to themselves.

Their voters know this and don't really believe them anymore.

And that's why Obama will win.

And the Republican establishment that seeks to unseat him?

Their guy Mitt Romney calls himself a conservative. But he's really a John Kerry in Republican clothing, right down to the phony laugh, and his past flips and flops will haunt him in defeat.

 My favorite part of that whole bit is that Mitt's a Republican John Kerry thus magically validating my own theory I have written about a time or two in 2011. So, YAY for that but what this really did was give me an opportunity to play my favorite game with my blog...Cut and Paste hateful, asshole, conservative whining anonymously and respond to them here, where they won't see it, for entertainment purposes. That and the fact that I know responding to them online at the Trib, or any other comments section elsewhere on the internet, is a fruitless endeavor as there's no mind changing when it comes to this bullshit. Also, it's fun and makes me feel a little better that Hamster Running on the Server Wheel is not alone in the world.

Some conservatives, sensing Kass's depression at the thought of another Obama win, just can't believe it:

Cheer up John!  One thing is more important than Obama knowing who is.  We know who Obama is!!  No matter what nonsense he spouts.   We are just not going to elect this disaster to a second term!  Fortunately, Chicago politics doesn’t work country wide!

This is a common refrain these days, that Obama is a disaster or, my favorite, the worst president in history! Which is such a fucking leap that I am not even sure what to say to that. Especially after the Bush debacle. The funny thing is these people have been saying that Obama is the worst in history, or a disaster, or whatever, since day one so when did they ever lift their heads from their tarry sands to bother to notice anything that was actually happening. Some of these fine, true Americans are really in denial:

Bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha - you havn't a clue.  Read some of the postings on the Obama goes to Disney World and take notice of how angry Democrats are that voted for him.  My freind, they are FURIOUS and most don't care who is running against obama -
Let me be perfectly clear - Barry will lose in a landslide in 294 days and I hope you enjoy that bleak view from your window for the next 4 years.  Obama had a HUGE opportunity to make a difference in this world and he blew it because he doesn't have a clue what he's doing - he can only read someone else's words.
Perhaps you and Chris Matthews can go on a double date with BHO and his wife.
294 baby, 294 - and there's not a darn thing you can do about it, this is bigger than you.

So, so many commenters, who also tend happen to be rancid assholes, always start 90% of their comments with some form of "bwah ha ha ha ha" which really lends to the whole mega-maniacal, super villain image I like to ascribe to these fuckers. Another common theme my insane friend, and this is something I am guilty of doing as well, is the "everybody I know," or in the above case all the furious Democrats who apparently commented on another article he read,  thinks what I think so therefore NO ONE could possibly think otherwise. Therefore, EVERYBODY doesn't care who it is who will be running against Obama they're voting for them. As usual, he also refers to him as Barry because it's disrespectful to call him President Obama and they won't publish his comment if he typed what he'd really prefer, "that nigger."

Here is an example of a comment I can agree with and basically reiterates what I just wrote:

Funny how everyone posting seems to think everyone in America wants Obama out of office. I seem to remember thinking the same thing about George W. Bush during his re-election bid.
I couldn't imagine a majority of voters actually re-electing that clown after all he did to ruin our country. I then saw a Democratic party nominate a guy who nobody was really excited about, but everyone thought was competent. Surely, John Kerry was just the moderate politician to oust George W. Bush. Right?
Guess what? I was wrong. People need to be motivated to vote for someone, not against someone. Kass is right, Obama will win again. Mitt Romney doesn't excite anyone but corporations and they don't get to vote yet.

 I remember thinking exactly like this during the run up to the 2004 election. I wasn't particularly in love with Kerry at the time but I sure as shit wanted to see Bush lose. I couldn't see it any other way which is partially why I am fairly certain I am seeing the same thing happen with Mitt. Naturally, I could be wrong...And, of course, I am wrong AND I am also wrong about how I felt back in 2004 too. I was certain Bush had ruined America, lead us into two debacle and illegal wars and fostered a Big Brother culture into existence right out of Orwell via the Patriot Act, illegal torture, spying, tax cuts for the rich, the whole bit that I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that Kerry lost. Here's a handy assfart that happen to reply to the above comment to set me straight:

You are chromnologically incorrect in your posting.
In 2004, GW Bush was disliked only by the far Left on an anti-Iraq War sentiment.
Unemployment was at 5 %, Housing was still very strong, and everyone's IRA's were doing nicely.
Economically, Bush was on solid footing. Enron, Adelphia and the other corporate scanals were just about over, and the stock market was rebounding.
This showed in the voting, as he garnered almost 55% of the vote.
Kerry did not have the national support that most of his followers beleived he had.
What Kerry did have was the media, who did not like Bush's blunt, sometimes terse demeanor in which he handled them.
Bush's problems did not occur until the elections of 2006, when his out of control spending, lousy handling of the Iraq War, and his failure to recognize the financial crisis' looming in the not too distant future, vaulted the Democrats into control of both the House and Senate.
So your posting is chronologically incorrect.
If you recall, in 2008, not 2004, Bush had approval ratings equivalent to Obama's current ratings, which are not good and will not get better if he tries to run on his record, which is abysmal.
Obama has to run on a platform of; "The Repubs are all bad, greedy,  and racist".
Then he has to try to sell that to the public.
We are not dumb or ideological. We see through that already.

Oh, SEE, I forgot I am a member of, "far Left on an anti-Iraq War sentiment." Duh. I wish I had known that at the time then I wouldn't have found the whole thing so fucking depressing. It's also fun to read this comment with a mouth full of sausage so you can sound as dumb as this person writes. I also have not yet spent any time on Obama's re-election website so I am not sure what his "platform" is yet...Apparently, It's "The Repubs are all bad, greedy, and racist." Which is pretty simple for him, I look forward to those banners at the DNC this year. Meanwhile, the RNC will have banners that say "Failed" and "Abysmal Record" which naturally exists only in a vacuum of 2009, '10 and '11 because before that is ancient fucking history that had nothing to do with nothing so you shut the fuck up because I am not dumb or ideological. I see through that already.

The Republicans could run the exhumed corpse of Richard Nixon and win this election, barring a lunatic third party suicide run by Ron Paul and his ego as his VP choice.  Obama has so thoroughly disenchanted the non-union, working, productive members of this society, they would vote for ANYONE but the incumbent.  I say that not to be flip, but to relay my sincere belief based upon not only my own sentiments, but those of virtually everyone I associate with.
Disclosure:  I work 60 hours a week, am not black, do not belong to a labor union, do not work for the government, pay federal income taxes, am not gay, don't think the government owes me anything and can or should solve all of my problems, don't hate the rich or begrudge them their success, and don't believe America's wealth is the product of our unfairness or evil nature.  I'm hoping there are another 50.001% of the country in my shoes.

I wish the Republicans really would run the exhumed corpse of Richard Nixon because that is just about on par for the course of insanity these people seem to be operating on lately. And I say that to be flip and to relay MY sincere belief and those of virtually EVERYONE I associate with. Disclosure: I am white person who is employed by a non-government/state entity, non-union, pay my taxes, point out which sexual preference I am not, and my thoughts of what I think government does or does not owe me so I can best demonstrate that I am a living, breathing, conservative, fuck head who is also probably not very racist because I work with a black guy I like to think of as a friend. He's well spoken, you know. Hopefully, half of the country can fit in my shoes. However, FUCK THE RICH.

Basically, these people have been sick about Obama from day one and no amount of accomplishment, numbers, favor-ability ratings, polls, or otherwise would or could ever change that in a million trillion years. From the very day Obama got the nomination these people have been just dying to paint him the worst thing that has ever happened to the country and to them. Some of them are even a little bitter that THAT is what happened to W. By the time the second term was nearing it's end it was obvious that America's greatest president, a sentiment many of these mentally ill people truly believed, was really an asshole who did nothing but move forward an insane neo-con agenda with aims to further foster our empire.

And he did so poorly at that all while lowering taxes for the rich and removing silly regulations on housing essentially fanning the flames of what was to become "the Great Recession." Naturally, to these fine folks, this is all somehow Obama's fault and one is no longer allowed to bring up Bush without getting, "Yeah, SURE, blame BUSH, it's all Bush's fault...That was three years ago, stop living in the past dummy!" Then they will bring up Clinton, Al Gore and Jimmy Carter with no sense of irony or appreciation for history or anything else. That same, rigid, "black or white," "this or that," simple minded thinking is what will always be their downfall, "Everyone thinks this!" "Everybody I know KNOWS that." It's both funny and sad. Obama 2012! Why? Because fuck you!

SOCIALIST!!!

Here is a post I read recently on the Facebooks about the ills of Socialism posted by some conservative fuckwad:

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan". All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little..
The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. It could not be any simpler than that.
Remember, there IS a test coming up. The 2012 elections.

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

 Like most posts on Facebook it is complete and utter bullshit. The story itself is merely one of a million "e-mail forwards" passed frantically among the over 50 set who only recently learned how to attach things to e-mail. And when I say it's bullshit, I mean the actual story is bullshit (here's Snopes) but that's not what bothers me about this piece. Nor does the fact that it's recycled "right wing, thoughtful, thinking stuff" that has been around some 15 years and sometimes swaps out communism for socialism (because conservative idiots can't tell the difference). It's that it is now tagged to Obama and continues to labor under the delusion that he, and apparently most liberal arts colleges and all of their students, are real, honest to goodness, socialists.

Now, I will leave the stereotype of the liberal arts college for another time as there are people at every college who are liberal, conservative, overtly political, and young and naive and so on and so forth. The myth that is being perpetuated above, and has been to an extreme since 2007, is that Obama is a socialist who is actively trying to implement socialism into the system thus turning America into a socialist republic. Which, again, is tantamount to communism to these fine folks because...Well, mostly because these people are fucking stupid.  Obama is a lot of things but a socialist isn't one of them. In fact, I am starting to wonder why people even think of him as liberal at all as he is almost as conservative as one can be and still refer to themselves as a Democrat. Shit, it's getting harder to look at most Democrats and actually think of most of them as true liberals. They are merely more liberal-ish than the moon-dog, tea-partied, right wingers. And that's not saying much.

This isn't even an attempt to disagree with the over all thesis of the made up story posted above. Socialism, like any extreme philosophy rigorously applied in stark, black and white, "by the book" terms as often fantasized by those on the right (which also shows their rigid thinking in action) would fail assuming any of the events of the "classroom scenario" or some the above 5 "best sentences ever to be read" were applied and adhered to in such an exacting manner. The problem comes in partially because no system could be so dramatically transformed into this socialist textbook in such a way that all would participate as described in the above fever dream. That aside, the intent is to demonstrate what "might happen" or show the reader what the evil, liberal Obama "really wants." So, let's examine the 5 best sentences ever one by one and see if this is something that is even, like, happening at all.

 1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
This is true, they will never be able to legislate literally taking all the wealth from the wealthy and redistribute it to the poor. Though, if you could, the poor would temporarily be less poor and even the playing field and all that but that would never last. The poor would become the rich and the rich would eventually become the poor as there probably is no way to truly have an even playing field. Furthermore, it's a fucking fantasy to think that even if, and this is an unbelievably hypothetical IF, there could be some law passed by some imaginary Congress that would somehow make wealthy people literally give their money to the poor that they wouldn't find some way, some loop hole, some method or move to get the fuck out of that fucking shit straight away. You know, just like they skip out on taxation now.  Also, here in reality, the top 5% may get (and I must stress MAY) a small percentage increase in taxes probably back to Bill Clinton like levels and this is what they call socialism. Something that hasn't actually happened yet, and might not happen at all, kind of like when Obama comes for their guns.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
 This one, to me, is almost veiled racism and harkens back to the old Reagan trope about the "welfare momma" which is essentially code for "lazy, black people" but can be shared equally among any potentially lazy minority. It also refers to rising taxes which could be used for roads, infrastructure, schools, and a bunch of other liberal stuff like that but really, apparently, go into the pockets of layabouts who do nothing but game the system to get their extravagant lifestyle paid for. Just look at the ghetto and insert whatever veiled, angry, white person talk about their clothes, and their shoes, and perhaps something about fried chicken and "eating out all the time, I can't eat out all the time?!" And beyond the veiled sanctimony it's really mostly a meaningless statement that has nothing to do with much of anything besides white people's hate fantasy.


3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
Again, forgoing that whole infrastructure, military, money, blah blah blah thing this basically re-states, "They are taking MY MONEY and giving it to ______________ (insert your own racial epitaph)." That's kind of the thing with these folks, and well most people really, it's all about the benjamins and so we're left with this greedy, out for myself, atmosphere that seems to do nothing but breed ignorance and hatred. Oh, but it gives you inspiration to work hard so that you to can one day become a wealthy person and live the American dream...As it has been entitled to thee!


4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!
Unless, all the dividends are carefully and skillfully invested in separate but successful stocks! By criminy THAT almost sounds like capitalism? Essentially, more buzz word usage by implying that they are going to take away the good people's money, prevent the rest of the good people from being able to reach those wealthy, dreamt of, rich people heights and thus all will be in a glum, even playing field waiting for their loaf of bread where no one can excel and no one will win AND WE WON'T BE NUMBER ONE AND IT WILL FAIL!?!?!  Also, the poor darkies and brown people will simply drag everyone down to their level and the American class will all share in their F's because those people don't want to work they want it easy and live in single room apartments with 15 other relatives and family friends in the ghetto and live on McDonald's and whatever they sell at the dollar store FOREVER! Because that's the kind of life those who do need food stamps and welfare tend to actually live. Sure, there's exceptions and even people who are poor who use illegal drugs (another can of worms about drug testing people on welfare, those filthy, filthy poor people!)


5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.
We must prevent the OTHER HALF from getting any ideas that they do not HAVE to work! FAIL! FAIL!! FAIL!!! We must have productive, hard workers so our not-socialist system can remain in place. Down with the 99%, they just want to redistribute mah wealth and mah family will die in the streets while getting raped by undesirables. AND THAT CAN'T HAPPEN! And no matter what Obama has done nary a thing, other than push a moderate, "health care" plan that still somehow aids and abets insurance companies and has dared mention that really fucking rich people might (again fucking MIGHT) see a small tax increase in his next term then he is a Socialist and wants and works for all of the above.   

So remember there IS a test coming up and it's the 2012 election and guess what? Most of us already fucking failed!  You are already duped, you were duped 30 years ago when Reagan showed up and fucked us all! You continue to cling to these outdated, quaint fantasies that have zero to do with reality. Both parties are serving NOT YOU. Both parties are aiding and abetting the movement of everyone's wealth and it's NOT GOING IN YOUR POCKETS. Socialism isn't going to happen and it wouldn't work, and for the record neither is communism (stupid) we got us a bonafide Oligarchy friends and guess who's not in that club?  YOU! To once again allude to that Carlin clip that gets sent around frequently, ""The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it."