Hope you enjoyed the August recess! Welcome back to it 'Mericans; looks like we got a whole lot of fun coming up this week from Presidential speeches about getting jobs in pivots, or something, GOP presidential debates and, of course, the TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY of NINE-ELEVEN!!!
TEN YEARS MAN!?!?! What else is there to say?
The inevitable deluge of specials, thoughtful essays, special remembrance issues, collector plates and social media posts simply cannot be avoided. Nor can I sit here and assign blame or perhaps some kind of disdain towards any of it as it is amazing that is HAS been ten years already. Why it seems like it JUST happened sometimes. That said, I really haven't forgotten the fucking thing even a little bit and quite frankly I am not sure how much time I want to spend diving back into 9/11. Everything changed that day for the country, for the victims, for their families, for the rest of us. Everything. It was an awful, terrible, horrible thing and it won't be soon forgotten until the bulk of us who were around then are fucking dead.
So, instead of spending a bunch of time and keystrokes revisiting the pain and confusion of that day I will, take a moment to realize that I have not stopped thinking about 9/11 much since then. I have watched, and re-watched several documentaries, feature films, television shows about or inspired by it. I have read waaay too many books about it, including the official report, insider accounts, investigative journalist accounts that I simply do not feel the need to go and rip those scabs open for the sake of a milestone birthday. Particularly, when you take stock on those very ten years and see just how stupid we were, and continue to be, since then. From the initial reactions, the immediate (and in some corners on going) anti-Islamic vibe, the onset of what has now become an open ended and endless war, the Patriot Act, the forward push towards an Orwellian security state and so much more it hurts my head just trying to list it out. I guess what I am trying to say here is, goddamit, I am sick of "9/11." I tire of the rhetoric that has become tied to this attack, the solemn, bell tolling, moment of silence shit. Particularly when it's being exploited for political anything on either side. It's like this sour rhubarb that people on the right and left serve up when they think they are being serious or wishing for our unity we thought we felt that day.
This is probably a temporary feeling and perhaps as more time goes on I will learn to re-appreciate the monumental-ness of that surreal and awful morning. But for right now, for the ten year reunion tour, I am pissed off about it. As a result this post is trending negative and a little on the glib. If someone sees this and gets offended then allow me to apologize right here. Sorry. But gawdammit, it makes me feel so manipulated these days, dirty, ugly and fake especially when I see a bumper sticker or some such that says, "never forget." How can I? How can anyone? Why can't we? Why do we need such a reminder?
There's a lot to get bothered about when it comes to this attack and I think one of the most offensive things I have seen more than a few times in the various "let's look back" sort of articles is how we continue to associate the Iraq war with 9/11 as if it was somehow linked in any real way. That was an illegal action executed under the cover of the ever more abstract, and unwinnable, "war on terror" and almost in retrospect at that. Oh sure, we "we're going to get those weapons of mass destruction" but we all know how that turned out...Continues to turn out...Even more fucking dead people. In fact, I think I can safely say, without doing any additional research, that we, us, Americans, have killed more people since 9/11 between all our wars, drone attacks, torture, and who knows what the hell else, then were actually killed on 9/11. We probably have lost more Americans alone since 9/11 in the name of 9/11 then we lost on 9/11 and we probably have been responsible for thousands, probably tens of thousands, of non-American deaths since 9/11 in the name of, or response to, 9/11.
Fuck.
That's a lot of dead motherfuckers.
Perhaps, I should express myself with a 9/11 poem?
Blue Skies, no planes.
The buildings are burning.
People are jumping.
Blah blah fucking blah.
Hey there stupid, fat, American consumer! Why are you sitting at home re-living America's greatest televised tragedy or spending time standing with your neighbors in the park holding a burning candle this Patriot's Day? Why be reactive when you can BUY STUFF!
That's right fatso! Whip out that credit card because Uncle Sam wants YOU...To buy this 9/11 commemorative plate set! You get one plate per month for two-years, only $49.95 per plate! What a great deal and what a GREAT way to remember the heroes and tragic victims of NINE ELEVEN by eating your fat, greasy, meals right off their likeness!?! Here's Firefighter Dave, the first guy to go into the tower one! Cover him in a pound of buttery mashed potatoes! Here's a fellow American waving a shirt for help in tower two, slap some fried chicken right on it! It's dishwasher safe so you will never forget AND enjoy another dinner!
After eating all that greasy, fattening shit you call food off of a painted representation of someone who died in the most horrible and public way yet dreamed of YOUR going to need to wipe off that face...So, why not buy this huge roll of patriotic paper towels for only $19.95 featuring pictures of the American Flag hanging on the Pentagon, Standing in the rubble of the towers, and in the smoke billowing for the field in Pennsylvania. All rendered in slightly staining and possibly somewhat poisonous ink. Just get your pasta stains all over that tragedy AND OWN IT! And after that, when diarrhea strikes, why not enjoying evacuating your bowels into the authentic, all American, 9/11 commemorative toilet with two incredibly bright LED lights shining up from the inside of the bowl RIGHT UP YOUR OWN, FAT, AMERICAN ASS!!! ONLY THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF $149.95!?!?!
What else can you do but laugh? Even though it's not remotely funny. So, fuck 9/11. That's how I choose to think about this anniversary, this milestone, this decade of awful actions and reactions all alongside this festering wound full of money and bullshit we currently call our government today. So, in that spirit I think my favorite thing to come out of this decade, which is directly related to all of the above, is going to be the way I will "celebrate Patriot's Day" this year is by watching "Team America" again:
Also September 11th is Grandparent's Day this year so, if you have little kids, bring them over to grandpa's house and let them explain "why they hate us" for a day and you can stay home and watch FOOTBALL it's the NFL kickoff Sunday!!! The Lockout is over! WE CAN HAS FOOTBAHL!
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!!
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