GUN SALE!

Ding-Dong, the gun ban is dead!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-HAAAWWWWWW!!!

*rides around your living room on a horse, shooting into your ceiling with both barrels*

The Supreme Court of the Socialist States thatusedtahbe America has aligned itself confidently with the Secret-Muslim-Thugministration today by officially declaring Chicago (and Oak Park, Illinois') gun ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL! "President" Obozo is coming for your guns...I mean...*shoots ten rounds directly around your head*

So, at lunch today I stopped at one of those corner kiosks at a BP gas station, you know the ones that were selling shitty, "Blackhawk Stanley Cup T-Shirts" last week...Well today they started selling handguns and I bought me a couple silver six shooters and a fine, leather double holster. It's a beaut alright; then I rode on in to town and had me a shoot out right in downtown Oak Park. I kilt me a bunch of folks that needed some killin'! I got a couple dirty hippies, some homeless people, some welfare mommas (who were clutching their food stamps in their cold, dead hands), and a deer. Then I deputized myself and rode into Chicago and arrested the Mayor for hating America so much.

Sarcasm aside, I am fine with the ban of the handgun ban as there is no real purpose of banning handguns aside from it sounding important. I have noted a few "liberal" arguments that this now makes it free and clear for handguns to be on every corner and everything turning into the OK Corral and so forth which seems just about as ridiculous as the notion that banning handguns magically makes them disappear. It will be interesting to see how this plays out and see what Mayor Daley does to over legislate and likely over-regulate handguns in the city. But it also begs the question how anything will be any different, at least in the short term. It's not as if gun stores are going to pop up over night all over the city.

And one thing no one seems to concede is that there are fundamentally two groups of people interested in handguns; gun nuts and criminals. Why would it be that a large number of regular people would suddenly start packing? I suppose there will be a few folks who have either always wanted or already had a handgun; but are that many people gun curious that they were merely being held back by Chicago/Oak Park's handgun laws? Maybe there are loads of people who really do want to "feel safe" and never could unless they had a handgun. It's just hard to buy the whole protect the family, thwart the criminals, crime will go down cause the proverbial "they" will worry that everyone is armed arguments anymore than the city is somehow safer because there are unenforceable gun bans on the books.

Maybe I am wrong? Perhaps people will start frequenting the west and south sides more often now that they "feel safer" with a semi-automatic on their side! All those neglected shops and restaurants can finally see more business because crime will simply disappear. And say, gun stores themselves will bring "good" business back to the inner city! And speaking of shopping in the city...Do you think they will open a gun shop on the miracle mile? They ought to! Imagine how much a designer Glock .45 would go for on Michigan Avenue? Oh, and Mayor Daley...The taxes you could get, it would be like cigarettes and alcohol times ten! What's the one business that has seen a HUGE boost since 2008? The gun business! Now Chicago and Oak Park can finally take their piece of the handgun sale pie! Oak Park has a lot of cute shops and there just happens to be a few vacancies right now right in downtown Oak Park. They need something earthy and clever though, it can't just be some boring old "sports shop." Something kitschy like; Bang-Bang, KaBlam, or Frank Lloyd Shot. You can get a small pistol, matching purse/holster, and earthy floral print all in one trip!

Kidding aside, I have a hard time with this issue because it is fundamentally weak on all fronts as I find no compelling arguments for "gun control" nor do I find anything particularly important against "gun control." To me guns are things, tools, consumable goods, adult toys and I think, on both sides of the "gun control" argument, are taken way too seriously. Crime should be taken seriously, murder should be (and is) taken seriously and I don't think one person's murder gains or loses seriousness if they were killed by gun or by brick, right? So, to my heavy, anti-gun friends I say, "Relax, don't buy one, you don't need one!" And to my heavy, pro-gun friends I say, "You've won! The constitution and all that...And say, there are some other amendments you folks should put some of that lobbying muscle towards enforcing now that you're safely armed and able to defend your constitutional rights."

That's right gun nuts, this weekend, while you are busy protecting your family by patrolling around your house armed, you can think up ways to get the Supreme Court to enforce the fourth amendment! Illegal search and seizures, wire-tapping and so on...OH, OH, OH...You could also do worse then to look into the Seventh amendment! You know, the whole civil trial by jury thing...We seem to have gotten away from that in certain cases. Gosh, maybe you guys can start using your armed might to convince gas drilling companies to stop poisoning our drinking water! Aw hell, maybe we can just get our oil and gas companies to no longer be magically exempt from the safe drinking water act. Just a few ideas, you know, to help you and yours be a little safer in America.

Some how I get the feeling that none of THAT environmental jibber-jabber will happen, after all that's liberal nonsense and the constitution don't protect no terrorists! Plus drinking water doesn't need no some kind of "Big Government" regulation on it's back?!?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-HAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!