Ding-Dong, the gun ban is dead!
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-HAAAWWWWWW!!!
*rides around your living room on a horse, shooting into your ceiling with both barrels*
The Supreme Court of the Socialist States thatusedtahbe America has aligned itself confidently with the Secret-Muslim-Thugministration today by officially declaring Chicago (and Oak Park, Illinois') gun ban UNCONSTITUTIONAL! "President" Obozo is coming for your guns...I mean...*shoots ten rounds directly around your head*
So, at lunch today I stopped at one of those corner kiosks at a BP gas station, you know the ones that were selling shitty, "Blackhawk Stanley Cup T-Shirts" last week...Well today they started selling handguns and I bought me a couple silver six shooters and a fine, leather double holster. It's a beaut alright; then I rode on in to town and had me a shoot out right in downtown Oak Park. I kilt me a bunch of folks that needed some killin'! I got a couple dirty hippies, some homeless people, some welfare mommas (who were clutching their food stamps in their cold, dead hands), and a deer. Then I deputized myself and rode into Chicago and arrested the Mayor for hating America so much.
Sarcasm aside, I am fine with the ban of the handgun ban as there is no real purpose of banning handguns aside from it sounding important. I have noted a few "liberal" arguments that this now makes it free and clear for handguns to be on every corner and everything turning into the OK Corral and so forth which seems just about as ridiculous as the notion that banning handguns magically makes them disappear. It will be interesting to see how this plays out and see what Mayor Daley does to over legislate and likely over-regulate handguns in the city. But it also begs the question how anything will be any different, at least in the short term. It's not as if gun stores are going to pop up over night all over the city.
And one thing no one seems to concede is that there are fundamentally two groups of people interested in handguns; gun nuts and criminals. Why would it be that a large number of regular people would suddenly start packing? I suppose there will be a few folks who have either always wanted or already had a handgun; but are that many people gun curious that they were merely being held back by Chicago/Oak Park's handgun laws? Maybe there are loads of people who really do want to "feel safe" and never could unless they had a handgun. It's just hard to buy the whole protect the family, thwart the criminals, crime will go down cause the proverbial "they" will worry that everyone is armed arguments anymore than the city is somehow safer because there are unenforceable gun bans on the books.
Maybe I am wrong? Perhaps people will start frequenting the west and south sides more often now that they "feel safer" with a semi-automatic on their side! All those neglected shops and restaurants can finally see more business because crime will simply disappear. And say, gun stores themselves will bring "good" business back to the inner city! And speaking of shopping in the city...Do you think they will open a gun shop on the miracle mile? They ought to! Imagine how much a designer Glock .45 would go for on Michigan Avenue? Oh, and Mayor Daley...The taxes you could get, it would be like cigarettes and alcohol times ten! What's the one business that has seen a HUGE boost since 2008? The gun business! Now Chicago and Oak Park can finally take their piece of the handgun sale pie! Oak Park has a lot of cute shops and there just happens to be a few vacancies right now right in downtown Oak Park. They need something earthy and clever though, it can't just be some boring old "sports shop." Something kitschy like; Bang-Bang, KaBlam, or Frank Lloyd Shot. You can get a small pistol, matching purse/holster, and earthy floral print all in one trip!
Kidding aside, I have a hard time with this issue because it is fundamentally weak on all fronts as I find no compelling arguments for "gun control" nor do I find anything particularly important against "gun control." To me guns are things, tools, consumable goods, adult toys and I think, on both sides of the "gun control" argument, are taken way too seriously. Crime should be taken seriously, murder should be (and is) taken seriously and I don't think one person's murder gains or loses seriousness if they were killed by gun or by brick, right? So, to my heavy, anti-gun friends I say, "Relax, don't buy one, you don't need one!" And to my heavy, pro-gun friends I say, "You've won! The constitution and all that...And say, there are some other amendments you folks should put some of that lobbying muscle towards enforcing now that you're safely armed and able to defend your constitutional rights."
That's right gun nuts, this weekend, while you are busy protecting your family by patrolling around your house armed, you can think up ways to get the Supreme Court to enforce the fourth amendment! Illegal search and seizures, wire-tapping and so on...OH, OH, OH...You could also do worse then to look into the Seventh amendment! You know, the whole civil trial by jury thing...We seem to have gotten away from that in certain cases. Gosh, maybe you guys can start using your armed might to convince gas drilling companies to stop poisoning our drinking water! Aw hell, maybe we can just get our oil and gas companies to no longer be magically exempt from the safe drinking water act. Just a few ideas, you know, to help you and yours be a little safer in America.
Some how I get the feeling that none of THAT environmental jibber-jabber will happen, after all that's liberal nonsense and the constitution don't protect no terrorists! Plus drinking water doesn't need no some kind of "Big Government" regulation on it's back?!?
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-HAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Bend over...Oil Spill has arrived!
As you may imagine after reading through my sparse, somewhat quarterly posts here that I clearly never would vote for Obama. I mean why would anyone even consider falling for that empty suit routine? Why would anyone, in good conscious, vote for that liberal liar Muslim? He clearly is dictating our new socialist government take over onto us freedom loving Americans whether we want it or not. I shore didn't vote for this guy and neither did a lot of people I know...I don't know who did and perhaps some kind of investigation should be started! Things were so good in this country before this Neo-Fascist-Liberal-Dictator lied his way into power! Now look what he did with his pretty speeches and aggressive liberal, new world order, tax increasing agenda?!?!
You KNOW in 2012 he will get run right out of office and whomever we elect next will surely be the actual savior and bring serious, proper, governing back to the United States of America. A government which will get off our backs, quit trying to tell us what kind of health care we can and can't get, get their fat-cat hands out of our corporations and off their backs, and then save us from corportations when they screw up in some major way.
Our next president will surely have the prescient foreseeability to accurately predict a man-made disaster and give a fired-up speech within just a few hours of whatever unspeakable environmental nightmare beginning. The speech, and later orchestrated media response, will be so impassioned and complete that whatever tragedy/environmental destruction/civilization ending plague it is, it will end and everything will be alright. Immediately.
No one will hang any administration ending misnomers on our next president, I tell ya, he or she will handle the unknown and known issues with a perfection never yet beheld. In fact, this measly, gulf-ending, multi-billion gallon oil spill, and all the years of damage and natural/environmental destruction, will also magically reverse itself the day after election day 2012! Hell, it's highly probable the oil well will still be belching eleventy billion barrels of crude per hour in 2012 anyway...So, President Not-Obama will plug that shit right up, right away...But only if YOU vote for him/her. President Not-Obama will have Kevin Costner's gills from 'Waterworld' and simply skip the whole inauguration ceremony, a clear waste of fine tax-payer money, and just dive right into the gulf and melt the gushing oil pipes with his or her laser vision!
Then President Not-Obama will launch into orbit and strategically eliminate all the illegal immigrants, lazy poor people (taking advantage of their high paying entitlements and not looking for a job), and anyone else who hate America or guns or money. Then President Not-Obama will dissolve the Middle East, well, at least the parts that want to blow us up...Then he/she will fly to Europe and use the invisible hand of the market to strangle the 'Euro' and Socialism into nothing. China, India and the rest of the Orientals will become so awe stricken by President Not-Obama's Laser vision, self propelled flight and access to the invisible hand that they will all just give up and immediately increase American product imports! Here at home, with the oppressive and lazy poor eliminated the rest of us can go back to work producing American products and exporting them while large populations of poor people in the other countries will die and become oil so that we may never run out. We can and will be NUMBER 1!!! THE WINNERS!!! UUUUUUU SSSSSSS AAAAAAA!!!
Phew.
Now, there's actually some things regarding the oil spill one might criticize Obama about but ultimately the situation was and is out his control. It would still be gushing, and essentially murdering the Gulf, whether he gave an angry speech 3 weeks or 3 seconds after it began. It could be said that the MMS has a cozy, relationship with Big Oil and the regulations have not been adequately or properly regulated and what not since Obama has had the reins. I wonder what would be different if McCain and the Beauty Queen would have won the election...Would something be different now? Would something be different if Bush had won a third term? Somehow, I doubt it.
If there's anything one should criticize Obama about it how little change he has brought to the table. Yes, yes, yes health care and several other important things have happened. Oh, and why yes, Obama has merely been in office 1.5 years and cannot change the world overnight. I get that, which is why I am not standing at the ready with my torches and pitchforks. However, there is a boat load of things Obama has not readily changed on that whole civil liberties, endless-war, indefinite detention, unlawful imprisonment, actually closing Guantanamo, secret war conducting, drone assassinating, thing he keeps perpetuating. This was a large concern of mine whilst Dubya was in power was that once all these "war-time" provisions slipped into the fold under him no preceding presidents would relinquish it. Even the ones who expressly campaigned against most of the above.
I know, BIG SURPRISE! A politician lied! Whoa, blow me down with wide-eyed cynicism. I surely expected much of the Obama change machine to be empty and I always suspected the great Democratic-Clintonista Compromise machine to surely in full effect (i.e. see 'Public Option' in the health care bill, National Guard troops being sent to the border, anything to do with Joe Lieberman, and the declaration for more drilling a few weeks prior to beginning of the slow, public murder of the Gulf). I guess the naive part of me that bought into Obama was the part that heard him talk about all the unconstitutional jibber-jabber and I bought that he would work really hard to roll a lot of the neo-conservative horse shit right out. Instead he has hung onto to it for reasons I don't quite understand and it is getting harder and harder to pretend that it's because he is working on some master plan that will see these wars end. Or that there is some unbelievable SOMETHING I can't know about because that THEY must persevere with this disgusting, ugly, horror show bullshit. Which also keeps the America Hate a flowing so that this "war" may never end. After all, it's supposed to be good for the economy.
Another thing that the socialist, Muslim, thuggish, too big, government of high taxation is mulling over is additional ways to fuck us hard by getting all thrifty with the spending. Now job benefit extension is out, and various and sundry discussions are being had about how the children will be paying our debt off forever because the deficit is SO scary. Which seems to only really matter to our rich masters and not to anyone else who is out of work...Seemingly permanently. But fuck those lazy fuckers in their lazy, good for nothing asses. Those people are clearly living high on the hog using MY MONEY and that unemployment percentage is so high because they don't need to look for a job because they are getting undeserved handouts to live on. Those entitled, lazy shits need to learn a lesson and get a gawd damn job...somewhere...
So, back on topic to that Oil Spill...There is little that personally thrills me more than ocean life. Being landlocked with an ear issue that keeps me out of the water I have an unnatural fascination with the ocean blue and it's kabillion life forms. It saddens me to a point that I can't really express when this sort of thing happens. We already are doing our human best to destroy and over fish the oceans in the best of times let alone this horrid, wanton destruction. Hopefully, it will bounce back over the next several decades. So, I am not wasting energy blaming Obama as there is really little point. I blame BP some, I blame the Oil industry some too, and the other corporate whore companies who have been grifting us, and everything else forever anyway, some too. The real culprits, as so often it is, is ME...And you...And everyone else is this fat, stupid country. We piss away so many resources one water bottle at a time, one tank of gas shopping for petroleum based "products" at at time that we cannot even begin to see past our own, fat, zitty, noses. We never seem to learn either and that, ultimately, is what breaks my heart.
...At our own peril...
You KNOW in 2012 he will get run right out of office and whomever we elect next will surely be the actual savior and bring serious, proper, governing back to the United States of America. A government which will get off our backs, quit trying to tell us what kind of health care we can and can't get, get their fat-cat hands out of our corporations and off their backs, and then save us from corportations when they screw up in some major way.
Our next president will surely have the prescient foreseeability to accurately predict a man-made disaster and give a fired-up speech within just a few hours of whatever unspeakable environmental nightmare beginning. The speech, and later orchestrated media response, will be so impassioned and complete that whatever tragedy/environmental destruction/civilization ending plague it is, it will end and everything will be alright. Immediately.
No one will hang any administration ending misnomers on our next president, I tell ya, he or she will handle the unknown and known issues with a perfection never yet beheld. In fact, this measly, gulf-ending, multi-billion gallon oil spill, and all the years of damage and natural/environmental destruction, will also magically reverse itself the day after election day 2012! Hell, it's highly probable the oil well will still be belching eleventy billion barrels of crude per hour in 2012 anyway...So, President Not-Obama will plug that shit right up, right away...But only if YOU vote for him/her. President Not-Obama will have Kevin Costner's gills from 'Waterworld' and simply skip the whole inauguration ceremony, a clear waste of fine tax-payer money, and just dive right into the gulf and melt the gushing oil pipes with his or her laser vision!
Then President Not-Obama will launch into orbit and strategically eliminate all the illegal immigrants, lazy poor people (taking advantage of their high paying entitlements and not looking for a job), and anyone else who hate America or guns or money. Then President Not-Obama will dissolve the Middle East, well, at least the parts that want to blow us up...Then he/she will fly to Europe and use the invisible hand of the market to strangle the 'Euro' and Socialism into nothing. China, India and the rest of the Orientals will become so awe stricken by President Not-Obama's Laser vision, self propelled flight and access to the invisible hand that they will all just give up and immediately increase American product imports! Here at home, with the oppressive and lazy poor eliminated the rest of us can go back to work producing American products and exporting them while large populations of poor people in the other countries will die and become oil so that we may never run out. We can and will be NUMBER 1!!! THE WINNERS!!! UUUUUUU SSSSSSS AAAAAAA!!!
Phew.
Now, there's actually some things regarding the oil spill one might criticize Obama about but ultimately the situation was and is out his control. It would still be gushing, and essentially murdering the Gulf, whether he gave an angry speech 3 weeks or 3 seconds after it began. It could be said that the MMS has a cozy, relationship with Big Oil and the regulations have not been adequately or properly regulated and what not since Obama has had the reins. I wonder what would be different if McCain and the Beauty Queen would have won the election...Would something be different now? Would something be different if Bush had won a third term? Somehow, I doubt it.
If there's anything one should criticize Obama about it how little change he has brought to the table. Yes, yes, yes health care and several other important things have happened. Oh, and why yes, Obama has merely been in office 1.5 years and cannot change the world overnight. I get that, which is why I am not standing at the ready with my torches and pitchforks. However, there is a boat load of things Obama has not readily changed on that whole civil liberties, endless-war, indefinite detention, unlawful imprisonment, actually closing Guantanamo, secret war conducting, drone assassinating, thing he keeps perpetuating. This was a large concern of mine whilst Dubya was in power was that once all these "war-time" provisions slipped into the fold under him no preceding presidents would relinquish it. Even the ones who expressly campaigned against most of the above.
I know, BIG SURPRISE! A politician lied! Whoa, blow me down with wide-eyed cynicism. I surely expected much of the Obama change machine to be empty and I always suspected the great Democratic-Clintonista Compromise machine to surely in full effect (i.e. see 'Public Option' in the health care bill, National Guard troops being sent to the border, anything to do with Joe Lieberman, and the declaration for more drilling a few weeks prior to beginning of the slow, public murder of the Gulf). I guess the naive part of me that bought into Obama was the part that heard him talk about all the unconstitutional jibber-jabber and I bought that he would work really hard to roll a lot of the neo-conservative horse shit right out. Instead he has hung onto to it for reasons I don't quite understand and it is getting harder and harder to pretend that it's because he is working on some master plan that will see these wars end. Or that there is some unbelievable SOMETHING I can't know about because that THEY must persevere with this disgusting, ugly, horror show bullshit. Which also keeps the America Hate a flowing so that this "war" may never end. After all, it's supposed to be good for the economy.
Another thing that the socialist, Muslim, thuggish, too big, government of high taxation is mulling over is additional ways to fuck us hard by getting all thrifty with the spending. Now job benefit extension is out, and various and sundry discussions are being had about how the children will be paying our debt off forever because the deficit is SO scary. Which seems to only really matter to our rich masters and not to anyone else who is out of work...Seemingly permanently. But fuck those lazy fuckers in their lazy, good for nothing asses. Those people are clearly living high on the hog using MY MONEY and that unemployment percentage is so high because they don't need to look for a job because they are getting undeserved handouts to live on. Those entitled, lazy shits need to learn a lesson and get a gawd damn job...somewhere...
So, back on topic to that Oil Spill...There is little that personally thrills me more than ocean life. Being landlocked with an ear issue that keeps me out of the water I have an unnatural fascination with the ocean blue and it's kabillion life forms. It saddens me to a point that I can't really express when this sort of thing happens. We already are doing our human best to destroy and over fish the oceans in the best of times let alone this horrid, wanton destruction. Hopefully, it will bounce back over the next several decades. So, I am not wasting energy blaming Obama as there is really little point. I blame BP some, I blame the Oil industry some too, and the other corporate whore companies who have been grifting us, and everything else forever anyway, some too. The real culprits, as so often it is, is ME...And you...And everyone else is this fat, stupid country. We piss away so many resources one water bottle at a time, one tank of gas shopping for petroleum based "products" at at time that we cannot even begin to see past our own, fat, zitty, noses. We never seem to learn either and that, ultimately, is what breaks my heart.
...At our own peril...
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