You know there are so many cliches one can use when your having a surreal week. You know, one of those weeks where multiple things are happening at once and your psyche starts feeling like brain-colored taffy being stretched across an increasingly empty chasm in your skull. Where some events out weigh others in personal importance but you cannot allow any single "current event" take priority. So, that is a reason I like to blog; helps me sort some of the stuff out and by typing out some of my thoughts it can, sort of, relieve the pressure...so to speak. In a way, blogging, writing a journal, whatever you want to call it really is kind of like the Pensieve in the Harry Potter books with exception that no amount of writing will truly release the thoughts.
Anyhow...Let me start with the usual, easy stuff:
Politics.
I know many are growing tired of the election-a-palooza and in some ways, so am I. Not enough to stop thinking about it, writing about it and so forth but enough to say that once the election is over it will be a nice break and I can get back to caring about other shit. That said, I have never watched a more exciting election!!! I have been paying fairly close attention to "politics" (with some exceptions) for the better part of 8 years so I have a hard time codifying just how glad I am to see an end to the Bush administration. So much so that I can hardly believe it. Last night I watch Barack's late night political rally in Florida with Big Bubba Clinton and by the end of Barack's speech I was, once again, inspired. I have never, ever been inspired by a politician ever in my life. I really like this guy and assuming he doesn't end up un-masking himself as a loon once he wins I truly, actually have hope for our future. This whole unite vs. divide theme he is closing his campaign on is brilliant. He is tired of the derision, divisiveness, the us vs. them, the fear, the manipulation and he is right on when he says we need to unify and solve our problems. We need to come together (right now, over me) because we are all Americans. No fake Americans, no unpatriotic Americans...We are all Americans.
How refreshing is that?
I know I have been derisive and nasty myself over the years and in the last few posts, though much of that is sarcasm, in truth Barack inspires me. I have never felt so good about a candidate and the dude has personally answered my e-mails over the year something no other senator has ever done for me. Could it be, despite these clearly dark times, there really is cause for hope? Perhaps.
Other stuff
Work has been BUSY lately as we are gearing up for our big fall open house and I have been visiting conferences, college fairs and more day in and day out as fall tends to be one of my busy seasons and I have another post brewing about much of my conference experiences as there are few organized events as surreal and stupid as conferences. That's another day as I am just noting that as yet another taffy-puller in my stretched psyche analogy I mentioned at the top of this post because...
I have an uncle.
I don't talk much about my family as, you know, it's personal but essentially my uncle, as far as my immediate family knew, disappeared a little while after my grandmother passed in 2002. Didn't know where he was, what happened to him and for the most part had written him off and generally never expected to see or hear from him again. Thought he might be living in Arizona, where his mom died, or perhaps took to the road and started his life a new, or something.
Out of the Blue this past Sunday evening my mom got a call from a very distant relative in the area explaining that he is, in fact, in the area and apparently on his death bed in a hospital a mere five minutes away from my apartment. There's some complicated, bad-blood-like, issues where he and my family were concerned that I don't need to go into here but I will say that it was a bit of a shock for all of us and the question of what to do lingered. My family has a history of not being super close with relatives outside the nuclear structure; when my Aunt passed a few years ago there to was some bad blood and while we all went to the funeral only I went and saw her before she passed. So, I decided that I should do the same now. Thus, I got the phone number from the a fore mentioned distant relative and began the process of, as I delicately put it, find out "what the fuck has been going on?!" Tuesday morning I saw my uncle for the first time since somewhere in the late 1990's in ICU in a hospital near my home. Tubes running in and out of him everywhere as he is suffering from a series of post surgical infections. He cried, he was so happy that I came and saw him and I inadvertently committed a really good deed. I am hoping he makes it (I believe he will) and I am hoping that my actions were the first step in repairing a long ago made family rift. The next day I saw him again and brought him a family photo collage I made in PS and it clearly made him feel so good.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I feel lifted that I have this chance to fix something that was broken that all parties assumed would never be fixed. I am glad I finally have answers to the question, "What ever happened to my uncle?" But I am worried as I have zero experience with someone in ICU. The only other part of a hospital that is weirder to visit would be the morgue. The moaning, the tubes, the pain from all the surrounding patients. The pain my uncle is in, the infections, the fear, and the unknowns...It's mind bending. This could be one of the greatest things I have ever done in family terms...but what if...? What if he doesn't make it? Is my positive outlook simply naive? My mother and sister, who in the past were very angry with him, have agreed to come and see him...I think this is a new beginning...A chance to finally let that water flow under that bridge and for the first time in ages I can say, with no doubt, "I have an Uncle again." And that's good!
But the worry, the questions, compounded with a very heavy, six-day work week with our major special event at the end and loads of prep work and responsibility to be done to get there. This election is creating in myself, and many others I know, a palpable tension and excitement. The crazy ass dreams I have been having AND there are some other things that I want to mention that I will have to save for the next post as I am out of time (another part of this wunder-week, more stuff than time to stuff it) ...Well, it hasn't been easy. All the same, I am keeping that chin up and am hoping for the best. But...MY BRAIN HURTS!!! *wearing Gumby diaper on head*
Happy Halloween, by the way, all of this other shit has entirely voided the holiday in my head.
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